What An Opportunity

Something something something…dark side.

In Sports on July 9, 2012 at 2:59 am


Once upon a time, in an Association somewhere near you, a boy was anointed. He was the Chosen One. He would right the force in the league. A young man from Akron, Ohio would be drafted by the Cleveland Cavaliers, his hometown team, and bring them to prominence. He was the One. But not all is as it seems…

Episode 1: The Phantom Menace

Young Lebron James is discovered on the distant planet of Akron, Ohio. From humble beginnings, he is chosen as the next Jordan. He would be greater than those who had come before. A physical specimen with a true love for the game. Unbelievably athletic, he is virtually unstoppable going to the basket with vision beyond his years. His first years in the pros are something to behold as he makes the Cavaliers relevant and guides them to the Promised Land. With a Finals appearance in his fourth season, all was right with the Force. Then…

Episode 2: Attack of the Clones

The Cavaliers surrounded him with less-than-stellar talent. The Chosen One was repeatedly putting up quality statistics while the rest of the team floundered. The ownership consistently placed players around him that were interchangeable and without much distinction. Secretly, the Chosen One ponders his future at the Olympics, as Sith Lord Riley and his apprentice, Darth Wade look on.

Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith

Adding to the young Jedi’s frustration, he had done everything necessary to be considered with the great ones  but was being denied the distinction that designates a true champion: the Ring. Still a Jedi apprentice and not a Master, the Chosen One begins to question the commitment of the team ownership to building a champion. As he confides in his close friend, Champion Wade, Wade tells him that the dark side of sunny Miami can prevent career death. The dark side can provide him with the one thing he wants above all else: immortality. With another season lost, and his heart seemingly elsewhere, the Chosen One makes The Decision. In front of children, the Chosen One joins the Miami Heat shifting the balance of power. With Darth Bosh in tow, the world becomes darker as Darth James take his place as the new apprentice of Sith Lord Riley.

Episode 4: A New Hope

In the darkness, a light beckons from Oklahoma City. Kevin Durant, a young man from humble beginnings, is chosen as the next Great One. The world looks on as he becomes the youngest scoring champion and wins three consecutive such titles. He is seen as the counterpoint to the fallen Darth James. Maybe it is him who will represent the NBA’s rise to newer heights of popularity and viewership. Maybe he is the one that they all will believe in. A physical specimen with a true love for the game. Unbelievably athletic, he is virtually unstoppable going to the basket with humility beyond his years. His first years in the pros are something to behold as he makes the Sonics Thunder relevant and guides them to the playoffs. With Jedis Westbrook and Harden, a threat rises in the West.

Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back

The Dark Side is repelled in its first attempt to capture the Ring. A group of experienced marksmen held together by a legendary figure hold the Miami Heat back. However, the Empire returns again. Seeming stronger, the Empire faces the Jedis of the West. At first, it seems the Force will be righted. But, the Empire has other plans. Darth Wade is able to relinquish leadership of the Heat as Darth James takes over the Sith and captures the elusive Ring. With a triple-double in the clinching game, his play devilishly totes a sinister tone, “I am your father.” Lebron captures that elusive Ring as the world contemplates the possible reign of darkness that could fall over the land.

Episode 6: Return of the Jedi?

Will a comparable threat rise? The people of the Windy Planet, Chicago, seem to think so. In addition, the decision of Trade Hunter Howard could make the urbanites of Brooklynooine considerable adversaries. In a bout of irony, Cleveland could help swing the deal that would land Dwight Howard with the Brooklyn Nets.

As for the Jedis of the West, there is dissension among their ranks. Is Jedi Westbrook too headstrong for victory to be at hand? Furthermore, there are other Jedi through out the region that wish to challenge the Darth Triumvirate. The planet of Angeles with its Lake People and fishermen on their Clippers could also challenge them. Not to mention the Grizzly people of Memphiseraan. Darth James has already lured another Jedi to the dark side to chase the Ring as Ray Allen has signed with the Heat. With a starting five that boasts 4 potential Hall-of-Famers, the Sith are well-stocked to defend the Ring at all costs.

Credits

In all seriousness, congratulations to Lebron James on his first NBA Championship. It was a great season, and if this offseason is any indication, next season is going to be ridiculous. The Bulls look like they will be contenders and the Brooklyn Nets look very serious even as they are currently constructed. I still like the Heat from the East though. That team is absolutely enter positive superlative here  (I said “positive” for that last one so no bad words).

From the West, I am completely biased for saying the Lakers so I have to say the Thunder. They are getting everybody back and that team can only get better. Scary thought. I do like the Lakers offense with Nash, Bryant, Whoever-plays-the-three-when-Peace-gets-the-amnesty-clause, Gasol and Bynum. The Clippers, Grizzlies, and Spurs offer nice competition but the Lakers offense should be unstoppable if utilized correctly. Couple competent offensive production with a defensive coach who has two towers to guard the paint and the Lakers could represent the West.

All prognostications aside, I know one thing for sure: I cannot wait.

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  1. Wasn’t Odom going to be a Free Agent to head back to the Lakers? I miss Fisher……

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