What An Opportunity

Dance with the girl who brung ya.

In Sports on February 9, 2013 at 10:41 pm


What does our favorite football team say about the person we’re into?

Absolutely nothing. Why would you ask such a stupid question? But in the world between my ears, there’s some kind of half-baked correlation. And darn it all, we’re going to find it. So without further ado, what each team says about what we like in potential partners:

“They were not the first person you noticed. But once you got to know them, you saw how cool they were.”

Arizona Cardinals

Buffalo Bills

Carolina Panthers

Cleveland Browns

Jacksonville Jaguars

Kansas City Chiefs

Miami Dolphins

Oakland Raiders

Saint Louis Rams

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Tennessee Titans

Upside: They are so cool. You guys interact in the best ways. You can’t wait to hang out. They’re cool with your friends and you’re cool with their friends. For the most part. But you how hard they try. It’s great being with them.

Downside: Not everyone sees what you see. Worse, sometimes people wonder what you see in them. You know how cool they are. Yet, not a lot of other people do. Is there something wrong with you? Or are other people blind? Are you a terrible person for questioning? But you do sometimes. Would it hurt to one day have something to brag about? It’s shallow. But sometimes shallow is nice. Now you just feel guilty…

Verdict: It’s all good. As much as we appreciate them,  we are human. We get self-centered. We want them to do something that we can rub other people’s faces in. Really show off. But, there’s something to be said for someone who is continuously working to be better. Plus, sometimes those public displays go awry. But you like them. It’s all good.

“They had a history of being really cool. The whole package. Now everyone kinda resents you behind your back because you won’t shut up about it.”

Baltimore Ravens

Green Bay Packers

New England Patriots

New Orleans Saints

New York Giants

Pittsburgh Steelers

Upside: They’re so awesome. You couldn’t imagine someone more awesome. Yea they have issues but come on, their awesomeness is blinding. Sigh…

Downside: Sometimes they’re too awesome. And they don’t seem to care about what’s going on with you. Would be nice to be heard once in a while.

Verdict: Sometimes they don’t listen or seem to care. But they are pretty awesome. And they make an effort to show they’re listening. But seriously, from all of us who care about you deeply, SHUT UP ABOUT IT! Sheesh.

“They can be so cool…when they want to be…”

Atlanta Falcons

Chicago Bears

Cincinnati Bengals

Dallas Cowboys

Denver Broncos

Detroit Lions

Houston Texans

Indianapolis Colts 

Minnesota Vikings

New York Jets

Philadelphia Eagles 

San Diego Chargers

San Francisco 49ers

Seattle Seahawks

Washington Redskins

Upside: When it’s on, it’s on like Donkey Kong. You guys go together like peanut butter and jelly. Winter and a sweater. Lemonade and sweet tea. Everything is great.

Downside: When it’s off, it’s bad. All talking ceases. Except for “uh-huh’ and other barely visible acknowledgements.  Everybody can tell somethings wrong but don’t want to say anything out loud.

Verdict: You’re gonna have to suck it up. As bad as it can be, you chose em.

And unfortunately, and maybe sometimes fortunately, when it comes to football allegiances and life in general, you just gotta dance with the girl who brung ya.

Because you just never know, do you?


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